The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we made out on top of his cat.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's blow job season.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
