Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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