she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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