A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
