just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
