I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
