i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
