Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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