My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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