Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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