i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.