Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on

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  (773): In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on http://tfl.nu/7jta
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (777)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..

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  (360): No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down.. http://tfl.nu/yoii
  Replies (15) Good night (1554) Bad night (625)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person

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  (912): I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person http://tfl.nu/xc27
  Replies (25) Good night (8215) Bad night (652)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Random question, how's your gag reflex these days

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  (315): Random question, how's your gag reflex these days http://tfl.nu/0fku
  Replies (10) Good night (4563) Bad night (863)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.

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  (210): I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy. http://tfl.nu/uz12
  Replies (44) Good night (4460) Bad night (2058)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?

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  (717): RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea? http://tfl.nu/y40i
  Replies (46) Good night (1381) Bad night (7719)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"

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  (469): I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?" http://tfl.nu/ut0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1234) Bad night (3697)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

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  (360): I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true. http://tfl.nu/2syb
  Replies (33) Good night (6154) Bad night (929)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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  (704): I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying. http://tfl.nu/un4v
  Replies (25) Good night (1345) Bad night (9716)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.

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  (360): Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/hma8
  Replies (23) Good night (2737) Bad night (711)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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  (207): It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now http://tfl.nu/zpim
  Replies (18) Good night (2170) Bad night (528)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.

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  (712): I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair. http://tfl.nu/sv3u
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (624)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.

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  (828): I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight. http://tfl.nu/6ztd
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (263)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left

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  (864): That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left http://tfl.nu/rl6q
  Replies (7) Good night (1126) Bad night (366)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!

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  (816): Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away! http://tfl.nu/774o
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (286)

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