I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.