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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.

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  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

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• (925): View more from California

  WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack

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  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...

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• (406): View more from Montana

  1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.

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