I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?