what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying