So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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