Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
