You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
