i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
