Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
