google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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