I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
