It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
