Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
