Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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