So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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