Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
