you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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