is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
