Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
