I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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