He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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