I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
