I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
