Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
