Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
