Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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