they need to just BURY HIM!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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