Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
