I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
