forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
