He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
