I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize