You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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