Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
