omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
