you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
