you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
