If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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