i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
