I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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