why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
