I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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