That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
