New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
