This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
