Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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