You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
