I got her a Nickelback box set.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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