The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
