Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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