her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
