Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize