every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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