how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
