my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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