i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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