i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
