I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
