FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
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beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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