In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
